Post by Dave Baker Post by Dave Baker
I've managed for years now with a 14 year old, 2000 year model Intel
Pentium 733 mHz that refuses to die .....
I don't feckin believe it. The more or less exact second I post how it's
worked faultlessly for 14 years I fire up VLC media player to watch a tv
prog I'd downloaded and there's no frigging sound. The pc is hooked up
to my trusty NAD 3020 amp which is heading for 40 years old and thence
to the KEF Celeste IV speakers bought at the same time. Beautiful sound
quality and I don't even have a hifi as such anymore. I just use Winamp
to play my record collection of mp3s from the pc hard disc.
Anyhoo, tit about cluelessly for half an hour wiggling the phono lead
from the pc to the amp, jiggling the volume control knob on the amp,
opening up the pc, gagging at the amount of stinky brown fluff and crap
that's accumulated in there in the 2 years since I moved house, brush
most of that out with a toothbrush which at least has probably helped
the almost totally blocked power supply and cpu fans to cool things
properly, tapping the various electrickery things inside the pc with the
end of the toothbrush which is my go-to solution for all electronic
problems as I have no feckin idea how any of them work. All I succeed in
doing is finding the mouse pointer has now frozen so I reboot the pc
which was probably a good idea anyway as it just stays on for weeks at a
time but still no feckin sound.
Need to establish whether it's the pc motherboard sound card or the amp,
or maybe even just the phono lead. Scratch head, rack brains, there's my
old hifi cassette player somewhere but god knows where and even less
chance of finding any leads for it. Hmmmm, idea. If I fire up the old
laptop which I haven't used for 18 months since the screen stopped
working I can plug the amp into the speaker socket of that, use the
desktop monitor as a screen via the external monitor port on the laptop
and see if that will play music or video. That will at least establish
if it's the pc motherboard or not. Scrat around to eventually find the
laptop tucked away in one of the spare bedrooms. Bring it back to the
kitchen. Bollocks, need the power supply charger thingy. Where the
feck's that? Another 30 minutes to find that. More bollocks. I forgot it
has a two pin continental type plug and there's an adaptor that goes
into the wall socket first. Another 30 minutes and that finally turns up
in yet another room.
Get the whole shebang fired up with the amp plugged into the laptop and
fecking arse tits bollockery buggery still no bloody sound!
Very pissed off now, especially as looks like my gorgeous NAD 3020 is
the thing that's kapput. Decide to at least tidy up the kitchen where
the pc is as I've spent so much time moving piles of paperwork, books,
deodorant, nail clippers and all the other crap I just fill the worktops
with rather than store them somewhere sensible while trying to find the
continental plug adaptor and other things. Shift loads of old paperwork
to a spare room, move the floor broom, the handle of which is leaning
against the amp front panel because my pet ferret Brutus knocked it over
when he was having a belt round the place this morning after being let
out of his cage. Idly wonder what all those buttons on the panel do that
say aux, tuner, phono, tape because it's been so many years since I
touched any of them.
Press a couple at random just for shits and giggles. Suddenly realise,
hang on a sec, which one needs to be pressed in for the pc sound to
work? Must be the aux one. Why was the phono one the one that was in?
Press the aux one in which pops the phono one back out, fire up a video
in vlc - ahaaaa, sound :)
Bloody ferret! He's knocked the broom handle into the amp, switched the
buttons from aux to phono and caused me several hours of pointless
buggeration and hair pulling.
The ironic thing is the only reason I'm using such an old pc in the
first place is because my previous ferret Verity broke my last proper pc
which was an AMD 1400 or summat when I had the case open for something
and she climbed up to have a look round and tipped a can of coke into
it. Fried the bugger completely. I borrowed the old slow pentium from a
mate as a stopgap and am still using it 8 years later.
So apparently the entirety of my computer problems for basically the
last decade have been ferret related rather than hardware related. Not
quite sure what to make of that as a moral for life.
Brutus, if I didn't love you more than just about anything in the world
I'd spank your hairy little arse but then you have no idea what you did
and never meant any of it anyway.
library routines they could not encode on one and decode the other..
Note to self. Encoding with a null key because your little program didnt